When being a ‘perfect captain’ burns you out: 3 mistakes that can cost you more than you think

Marion Monnier
Apr 22
4 min read

I’ve lived this...

Not just the perfectionism. The full cycle — the invisible weight of always trying to do everything right… until your energy runs dry, your joy disappears, and your body starts screaming "stop."

For 14 years, I was trapped in this cycle of perfectionism in the yachting world.

I thought the only way to earn respect— especially as a woman — was to be flawless.

No mistakes. No weakness. No space for “not knowing.”

And I didn’t live it alone.

I lived it next to my husband, my captain — as we both navigated the pressures of maintaining perfect standards in a high-stakes, high-visibility environment.

It worked...Until it didn’t.

Because perfectionism at sea doesn’t just push you — it empties you: Quietly, gradually, and then, all at once.

Eventually, I burned out :

Physically, emotionally, mentally
I had to stop sailing professionally
Not because I didn’t love the sea
but because I couldn’t keep betraying myself in the name of duty.

And here's the part no one talks about:

This perfectionism doesn’t just impact you
It affects your crew, your family
And the very essence of how you lead your whole life.

In this article, let’s talk about the 3 silent mistakes I see , and lived , far too often !!!

1. Mistaking control for leadership

You double-check everything.
You anticipate problems before they happen.
You make sure every task is done the “right” way (which often means your way).

And it makes sense — when you're in charge, errors have consequences.

But beneath it all, there’s a deep fear: "If I don’t control it, it will fall apart."

Here’s the truth: Control keeps you surviving. But it kills trust.

In Your Human Design Chart:

If you have an open Root or open Spleen, this hyper-alertness is often a trauma loop — not true leadership.

💥 What it costs you:

Chronic stress
Nervous system burnout
No real rest — ever

💥 What it costs your crew:

They don’t grow.
They stop taking initiative.
They lose confidence — and connection.

💥 What it costs your family:

You bring the pressure home.
You’re tense. Distracted. Sharp.
And slowly, the people who love you feel like they can’t reach you anymore.

2. Suppressing your needs to “stay strong”

You skip meals.
Skip emotions.
Skip yourself.
You think you’re being reliable.

But in reality?

You’re disconnecting from your own life force.

In Your Human Design Chart:

If your like me, a Manifester with Emotional Authority, ignoring your wave doesn’t make it go away — it makes it explode later.

Your Strength is feeling, not suppressing.

💥 What it costs you:

Emotional shutdown
Physical depletion
Waves of anger, blame, or numbness

💥 What it costs your crew:

They follow your example
Even when it’s unhealthy.
They start to think suffering = strength.

💥 What it costs your family:

You come back in pieces.
You shut down when they ask, “What’s wrong?”
And they start walking on eggshells too.

3. Measuring your worth by how few mistakes you make

One wrong decision.
One missed detail.
One bad call — and you’re spiraling.
You replay it over and over.
You carry guilt for weeks, sometimes months.
You think being mistake-free means you're a good captain.

But actually?

It means you’re afraid to be human.

In Your Human Design Chart:

If you're a 6/2 Profile, you're here to embody wisdom through lived trial and error. Mistakes are part of your mastery. Not a threat to it.

💥 What it costs you:

Inner shame
Isolation
A constant feeling of “not enough”

💥 What it costs your crew:

They hide their errors
They feel unsafe to experiment
They stop learning

💥 What it costs your family:

You’re so wrapped in self-judgment,
There’s no space for intimacy, for joy, or for simply being together.

You were never meant to be perfect. You were meant to be conscious.

Let me say it again:

The sea doesn’t need you to be perfect.

It needs you to be present.

The moment I started understanding my Human Design, everything shifted:

I learned how to lead without betraying myself.
I discovered why my energy worked in bursts, why rest wasn’t laziness, and why initiating with clarity — not control — was my real gift.
I stopped trying to be the “perfect captain of my boat and life ”
And I became a leader people could actually trust, follow, and feel safe with.

Ready to lead differently?

You don’t need to fix yourself.

You need to finally understand how you were designed to lead.

Want to Start your journey ?

Discover how I could support you

✨ Leadership Compass – 3-session journey

Decode your Human Design chart to understand your energetic leadership style, communication flow, and decision-making patterns.

→ Especially powerful for captains, skippers, and professional crew.

🔥 1:1 Mentoring – 3 months

If you're feeling overwhelmed and drained, this bespoke 3-month mentorship will help you reclaim your energy and improve both your professional and personal life quality. Tailored to your unique needs and desires, this deep transformational journey will empower you to create space for what truly matters, while aligning your inner and outer worlds for lasting change.